Swimming in the Abyss!!

For those of you who follow my blog and have sent me emails to see if I am ok, the short answer is yes, all is well!  Unfortunately my real life has become a bit more demanding and the one thing I can push to the side right now without an incredible amount of guilt is scrapbooking.  Its been weeks since I've been able to check out other blogs or visit the sites I regularly participated on.   I miss seeing all the inspiration out there but honestly, I sort of feel a sense of relief as well.  I was getting to the point where if I didn't create at least a half dozen layouts in the course of a weekend I was angry at myself.  I found that I was creating layouts just to use a particular sketch or have an entry in a particular challenge contest.  This said, I WILL still use sketches and participate on challenge blogs "when I want to" instead of putting unnecessary pressure on myself to "HAVE" to do it.  If a sketch or challenge doesn't move me or inspire me in a way that makes me excited about jumping in and creating....I'm not doing it!   Can you believe that I have not even purchased a single piece of paper (until yesterday when I did a big order!) since JUNE!  Yep, my last order was 3 months ago and I haven't even used it all yet.  That was another problem....I was buying like crazy without any idea what I would use the stuff for!  As the title of this post reads....I felt like I was swimming in the great scrapbooking abyss and getting nowhere for my efforts.  So its time to regroup.  I will shift my focus and only work on layouts that I am inspired to create...if it happens to meet a challenge--great.  If not...that's great too!  I seriously considered packing up my stuff and calling it quits again (I did that once for 2 whole years!) and giving the kids back their playroom.  I have been THAT uninspired and overwhelmed by the restrictions and expectations I was putting on myself.  But rather than go the drastic route, I am just going to refocus myself.  So yes, there will be new layouts posted.  But will there be new posts all the time...not likely.  So if you do not hear from me here for a week or two at a time, please don't fret.  I'm still here, I'm doing ok.  Just doing it "my way" now!